Starting over can feel like failure when we’re wired for performance. When success is measured by consistency, hustle, or public recognition, pausing feels risky. Shifting feels shameful. And stillness? It can feel unbearable.
But what if that pause is actually where the healing begins?
In this powerful Alignment Recess Live conversation, I sat down with wellness coach, athlete, and healer Monica Jones to explore what it means to start over on purpose.
To choose stillness instead of survival. And to disrupt the cycles of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and performative self-worth that so many of us were conditioned to maintain.
This isn’t just a story about success. It’s a story about sovereignty. And remembering who you are without the external accolades.
Why the Breakdown Often Follows the Breakthrough
Monica shared a powerful pattern she’s experienced: right after a major win comes the unraveling.
"It was the biggest achievement of my career and immediately after, I realized everything in my life felt wrong."
This is what author Gay Hendricks calls an Upper Limit Problem: the internal sabotage that happens when we exceed our subconscious comfort zone.
For Monica, it wasn’t failure that broke her it was success without alignment.
This is a pattern high-performing women know well. We rise. We achieve. And then our nervous system says, This feels too big, too visible, too unsafe.
Cue the spiral.
But what Monica chose to do next was revolutionary: she didn’t push through. She sat down.
She listened. She got honest. And she let her life rearrange itself around a new kind of truth.
The Shift: From Performing Power to Practicing Self-Loyalty
Throughout our conversation, Monica reflected on the painful but liberating journey of redefining power:
"I used to believe I had to work the same way every day to be financially stable. Now I understand that rest, softness, and joy are part of my strategy."
What changed?
Therapy. Not as a last resort, but as a practice of self-awareness.
Movement. Boxing, running, walking trails as medicine, not performance.
Grief. Especially the layered grief of watching her father age, and realizing how much time can be lost to fear and survival.
Redefining success meant unlearning urgency. Redefining strength meant embracing softness. Redefining healing meant allowing joy.
And all of it required stillness.
The Practice: Returning to the Basics (on Purpose)
One of the most healing parts of this conversation was the reminder that self-reconnection doesn’t have to be complicated. It starts with the basics:
Hula hooping.
Fortune tellers.
Watching sunsets.
Taking a bath.
"It doesn’t have to be pretty to be powerful."
We talked about how movement helps emotions circulate. How joy doesn’t need to be monetized. And how sometimes, the real work is remembering what your body already knows.
This is where alignment begins. Not in your inbox, or your next launch, or your new routine. But in the moments you choose to return to yourself.
A Framework for Reconnection
Inspired by Monica’s story, here’s a 4-step framework to start over without self-abandonment:
1. Recognize the Pattern: Where are you performing strength instead of practicing honesty?
2. Release the Timeline: Whose expectations are you measuring yourself against? Do they even align with your values?
3. Return to Your Body: Move. Sit. Cry. Stretch. Walk. Let the emotions move so they don’t root into stagnation.
4. Reclaim Joy as a Practice: Not a reward. Not a luxury. A daily devotion to your aliveness.
Rapid Fire Wisdom from Monica
A belief she had to release: That daily productivity is the only path to financial security.
A moment that reminded her of her strength: Hosting her own wellness event on her own terms.
A ritual that grounds her: Baths and sunset prayers.
What she tells herself when fear shows up: "If God called me to it, there’s a way through it."
Final Words
Starting over isn’t failure. It’s a return.
To your rhythm. To your truth. To the self that doesn’t need to prove anymore.
If you’re in a season of unraveling, know that you’re not behind you’re being reborn.
Let this be the season you choose softness without shame. Let this be the year you make joy non-negotiable.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re ready to rebuild from alignment with support, strategy, and sacred structure:
Enroll in The Life and Business Blueprint my private 3-month experience to help you uncover your unique energetic rhythm through Human Design, and build your life and business from alignment. Enter the experience here.
Or begin with a focused deep-dive:
Book a 2-Hour Life and Business Alignment Session a personalized recalibration to bring clarity to your next chapter. Book your session here.
You deserve to live a life that nourishes what you were born to lead. You don’t have to start over alone.
Connect with Monica
To stay connected with Monica and follow her journey of self-reclamation and healing:
Instagram: @trainwithmon
Website: www.monica-jones.com
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